I know because I've seen it happen with quite a few friends and family members, male and female. That includes your friends, your family, and yes, the women you meet. But after an extended period of time spent with you, if the people around you have never seen you not only show interest in women, but act on it, some will wonder if you're gay. If a woman hasn't known you long, she won't wonder why she's never seen you date or be with women. They have never seen you flirting or dating women. They are interested in you and wonder why you didn't make a move. In my opinion, if you don't present as effeminate, there are mainly 2 reasons women might think you are gay. As someone who is pretty manly I am genuinely curious as to how they even have this wander their minds. And at some point, ask me if I'm gay, or spread rumors that I'm gay (if rejected). Typically, a girl will appear interested in me romantically. It's not something's that's happened to me a lot, but it has happened enough for me to find it peculiar.
So I'm genuinely curious to know where this obsession comes from in women in wanting to know a guy's sexuality. So you can see why this might be problematic in the dating world. More to the point: It's straight-up counterintuitive for het men to have het women assume we're uninterested in them. And so they're undesirable traits for a straight man to want to have.
And that's not to say that these qualities are bad, but they all tend to be deterrents for most women looking for a relationship with a straight man. It's the stereotype of what people are really poking at when they assume you're gay - femininity, flamboyance, being camp, having a girly voice. So it's not that women might assume that I'm gay that bothers me. But they might wonder if he is gay after seeing him on Broadway (that's just how stereotypes seem to work). In other words: Nobody ever asks if Hugh Jackman is gay because of his portrayal as Wolverine in X-Men. There are all kinds of gay men.īut typically, when society asks if someone is gay, they are alluding to the very specific flamboyant stereotype. There are manly gay men, and there are overly camp and flamboyant gay men. The most effeminate thing I've ever done in my entire life was get scouted to be a model (and I don't tell anyone that).īut most of us are smart enough to know that anyone can be gay and so therefore being gay doesn't have a particular 'look' to it. I'm 6'2, I have a deep voice, and my personality I would define as stoic.